Today I thought I would introduce myself in its entirety. No holding back, this is me, this is raw. Be sure to grab a coffee it’s a long one.
I was born in Southwestern Ontario in the mid 70’s. I am the youngest in my family, I have an older brother and that’s it. Growing up I did city kid stuff, dance lessons, baseball, bowling, brownies, girl guides, youth choir and Cadets. When I aged out of cadets, I was part of the Reserves.
When I was in my 20’s I had a baby boy born sleeping and then 2 girls. I made some poor life choices and ended up losing them to protective services and they were put up for adoption. I had fought in court for them for 2.5 years. I made the choice to sign them over to be adopted. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. They deserved better then what I had at that moment.
20 years ago, I met my now husband. I was a mess and he helped pull me out of the deepest, darkest pit I’ve ever been in. We had a little girl 16 years ago and due to my history with CPS we lost her. We tried to get her home but just kept getting roadblock after roadblock. We got married in 2006 and our life hasn’t been easy but there is no one I would rather travel this road with.
14 years ago, we had our son. I was so scared that we were going loose him. While he did briefly live under someone else’s roof, we were still his Mom and Dad. By the true grace of Yah, we were able to work with the CPS and were able to truly work at bringing our son home to live with us. My Mom and Dad stepped in, and David went to live with them. We worked our butts off and did class after class. It all paid off when we were able to have him home with us full time by 17 months old. By the time he was 2 CPS had closed the file on our family. That was truly a time of rejoicing.
January 2010 (the same month David turned 2) my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. And so began the journey of my becoming caregiver. Mom fought it and was doing pretty good until an MRI showed that the cancer returned and spread rapidly. She went downhill fast. She was always the one to be strong and now I was the one trying to hold things together. My mom was the main reason for us moving to Alberta in the first place. She didn’t want to hold us back from our dreams. She passed away in July 2012, 2 days into our move out west.
Settling in Alberta was a challenge. But it was a good one that needed to be done. It was there that I first had a taste of raising animals and feel in love with sheep. It was also here that we started to walk a little closer with Yah. We were involved in our Church and things were going great. That was until we felt the need to move again by His nudging and a little encouragement by a very good friend.
2018 marked our moving as Yah guided us. Our friends in Alberta thought we were nuts to move to a place that was at that time engulfed in flames. But we trusted Yah and followed his leading. 2019 we started to see the Bible a lot differently and started on a new journey. One that has caused a lot of issues with family. But I am so happy that the scales have been removed and we can see the truth.
May 2020, I lost my Dad when he had a massive heart attack. It still really stings that he is gone. After Mom passed, he was my comfort, my biggest cheerleader, my anchor. All of those things are now who Yah is to me. I lean on the heavenly Father just to get out of bed in the morning. Most days I don’t want to get up and face the day. But because of His love for me and sending His son to die for ME I do.
I can get up and be the mom I need to be, the wife I need to be because he enables me to get out of bed and find purpose. I am who I need to be because Yah gives me the strength to be it.